A Knife in The Heart
by Astrid16
Summary: Based on episode 28: The Art Of The Silent Fist. Major spoiler, enter at your own risk. What I think may happen to Zane after Pixal...yeah...you get the gist, if you've seen it... Supposed to be sort of sad, tell me if it actually is. I'm not sure if I struck a cord, if you get my meaning.


**This story takes place directly after episode 28: The Art Of The Silent Fist. If you don't want spoilers, don't read! **

**Don't flame me too much, please. I did it at two in the morning. (Everything is magical after midnight, right? Or was Disney a liar?)**

**And I know...Pixal's words are a bit off, but I didn't feel like it was that important to get it exactly right. Chances are that if you are still reading this, you've already seen what happens to the poor android...**

**Fair warning, I don't give any direct description on what happened to her in 28. It's just too complicated to explain, go and watch the episode for yourself. One of my favorites now! So many feels...**

**Told from Zane's POV. Yes, he is out of character. I did it on purpose. Anyone who has watched season 4 knows that Zane is acting strange...I have a feeling that something like this would push him over the edge entirely. **

**Please leave a comment!**

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I held her tightly, my heart racing in my chest as I came to a sudden, irreversible, unchangeable conclusion.

Pixal was dying. I wanted more than anything to deny it. I wanted to be in her place. But I could not, for such an act was physically impossible, for she had suffered from no wound, nor any illness. There had been no knife for me to jump on front of, no sword to conquer.

I fought back a tear. "You...knew this would happen?" I could not believe that she had done this to me. I could have found a way to change this, had she told me that destroying Ninjago's sole power source would ultimately kill her own power. I felt like I had driven a knife into my own heart. It was my own fault that she was suffering.

Pixal's fingers twitched and her eyes flickered as her battery continued to run on a small emergency reserve. "I...was not important. I-I-am to...a-a-assist." She smiled, the corners of her lips twitching as her muscled spasmed. Was she smiling, or was it her malfunctioning body that simply moved her mouth involuntarily. "W-we a-a-re not so di-i-iferent, the wa-y we are com-pat-i-ble?"

I smiled weakly and nodded. "Yes." My voice was soft, sad and gentle, and full of pain. She was driving the blade home with her words. "Yes, we are." Compatible. It was a perfect way to describe our relationship, up to this point.

Pixal's eyelids fluttered shut, and I was left with a cold, lifeless android in my trembling arms.

I merely sat there in shock, my logic parameters unable to process what my eyes and ears told me. She was gone. But she couldn't be. I shook my head in disbelief, my grief swallowing me whole. I was drowning. Drowning in the belly of the beast, left wishing I had been chewed before the monster had swallowed.

"Zane." Cole said softly, laying a hand on my shoulder, his voice telling me what I should have realized before now.

I held Pixal close to my chest and refused to look into his eyes out of bitterness. "You knew." I whispered harshly. He did not respond. I felt his fingers loosen their grip on my shoulder as he considered backing away.

My tears fell onto her face. "You all knew, didn't you?" My voice rose with my temper. "We are brothers. And you didn't tell me?" I choked on my grief and gagged on my anger as I stroked her hair. "Why?" I tried to calm my voice. "What reason did you have to not tell me this would happen?" I had yet another wound in my heart. These men I called 'brothers' had done something that I could not easily forgive.

My question was answered with silence. A silence deader than night, more terrible than death. Darker, and more foreboding than any fear as Cole released his grip on my shoulder entirely, and I heard his shuffling footfall as he slowly backed away.

"Zane." Kai's voice was quiet, calm and steady. It was the voice he used with his sister, when he had something horrible to say, and knew he would not be easily forgiven. "Brother, we never-"

"Don't!" I shouted. "Do not call me brother! You have no right to call me by that name." Sobs started wracking by body as I lay in a fetal position, Pixal still wrapped in my arms and on my lap. I started rocking back and forth slowly, my body moving involuntarily with the storm in my mind as I fought the waves and wind, trying more than anything to just not drown.

"We didn't want you to know, Zane," Jay began reluctantly, "because we didn't want it to interfere with our job. We had to destroy the power source to the Overlord's computer. Pixal..." He hesitated, his voice stuttering and hesitant. "Pixal was..." He scratched the back of his head nervously.

I listened to his words in shock. "Expendable?" I offered up tersely. My hands tensed and balled into fists. "Unimportant? A useless robot?"

Silence. Silence spoke in the absence of words, making my worst nightmares come true. "Is that how you view me, Jay?" I shut my eyes tightly. "What made her different than me, Cole?" I choked again, hiccups convulsing in my body. "Kai, is this how you would treat me?"

"No." Cole said quietly. "No, Zane. You are our brother. We would never-"

"But you would!" I shouted back. "I am made of the same stuff she was. If shutting down the power meant killing me, you would do it!" I started rocking faster, the storm in my head growing to a raging monsoon. "You would treat me like you treated her."

"Zane," Kai began. "We would never do this to you." His voice was even quieter now, and accented by a touch of guilt. "You are different than Pixal."

I shook my head, unable to believe that they were trying to feed me their excuses and lies. Me and Pixal were not that different. It was an insult in my ears. "Leave me alone." I whispered. "Go away."

"No, Zane." Cole said firmly. "We aren't going to leave you here."

I felt another surge of anger rise inside my chest. It ran its course, flying up my throat and out of my mouth in the form of words I may regret in the future. "Then I will leave!" I scooped Pixal's limp body into my arms and stood up shakily, forcing myself to stare straight ahead as I walked away, in the opposite direction of the stunned ninja.

I finally found a staircase and ran down it swiftly, my vision blurring with tears as my feet moved senselessly and without direction or course. I looked down at Pixal's pale, white face. It was a beautiful face, peaceful, calm and serene. It calmed my overactive nerves and slowed my feet. I eventually came to a stop and fell to the ground again, now completely in the cover of the trees, and out of the sight of the building that used to supply power to all of Ninjago. I hoped that I was far enough away for the others to not be able to find me.

I set Pixal down in the soft grass and wept bitterly, first on my knees, eventually falling to my hands for support as well as I felt the world fall out from under me.

Everything I had ever known. Gone. It was happening again, just like it had all those years ago in my father's home. When I had woken up with no memory, no past, nothing to build on for my future. I was once again in that zone, with nothing familiar to cling to. My brothers? I resisted the urge to spit into the dirt. They were no brothers of mine. They treated me like...like I wasn't worth anything. They treated me like I wasn't their equal. Like I didn't deserve the same knowledge they had retained guiltlessly the whole mission. I vaguely wondered what else they might have kept from me, and decided I didn't want to know.

I felt worthless. Alone. Terribly alone and wretched. I looked at Pixal's face again, as she lay on the ground next to me, and felt tremendous amounts of anger and guilt. Had I not proven myself trustworthy, a friend willing to go unthinkable distances for his friends? Had I not proven myself worthy of their honesty?

I heard footsteps behind me, and felt a strong impulse to run when I realized it was the ninja. But I felt glued to the ground, unable to move my body as I knelt on my hands and knees before my deceased friend.

"I said leave me alone." I snapped venomously when they were within range of hearing.

Cole, Jay and Kai stopped breathlessly beside me.

Cole walked around me and Pixal and got on one knee in front of us. He grabbed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "And I said no, Zane. We're not leaving you." He stared into my eyes with such intensity that my rage started to melt away, replaced once again with unbearable sadness.

He let go of my face and rested his arm on his knee. "Listen. You are right. We treated Pixal like garbage. And no one deserves that." His voice wavered. I could tell saying this was hard for him. He was not used to making apologies.

His eyes brimmed with tears. "And we should have been honest with you. We should have at least given you a warning, so you could steel yourself for the inevitable." He shook his head. "But brother, we would never, ever do that to you." He said softly, all of the firmness of the apology fading away as his voice cracked. "I cannot believe that we treated her like that. I realize now that I was wrong, ordering the others to keep it a secret." He swallowed hard. "You're not human. And neither is Pixal. You are both unique and special. I should have counted her as an equal." He looked down at her body, which lay between us. "Just because she looks less human than you, doesn't mean she didn't have a mind and a heart, however electronic they may be. I should have been more considerate of that." He continued staring into my eyes, a pride fighting his stare that I knew he was having a hard time conquering. "Brother, I would die for you. You should know this by now. I wouldn't wish this upon you, and I feel terrible for letting it happen to her." He looked down at Pixal again and took her hand. "Don't give up on her, Zane." He said pleadingly. "You are the smartest man I know. You can alter her systems, so that she doesn't need an outside power source." He looked up at me, a tear finally escaping his eye as he conquered and destroyed his pride. "And we'll all help you."

I stared at Cole for a long time, holding his gaze in silence as I contemplated whether or not to accept his apology. They had hurt me. They had driven a knife into my chest, but had instantly regretted it.

It was foolish. I wasn't sure which part at this point...my analogy or their actions...perhaps both...but someone had done something extremely foolish, and someone had to make it up to the other. My pride said it was all their fault. But my heart said that I should have already figured out that she was connected to the main power source. She was, after all, and invention of Cyrus. Of course she got her energy source from here, the place that I helped destroy.

They may not have realized it entirely, but I knew of another reason for their reluctance to tell me about what would happen to Pixal. They had been afraid. They cared about me enough to know that they didn't want to potentially hurt me by being the ones to inform me of her inevitable death. Their logic was flawed, but I looked through it, and all I could see was love. And brotherly love had its flaws.

I finally blinked, and the corners of my mouth lifted slightly as I rose to one knee, then finally to my feet. I helped Cole up and gave him a long, warm embrace. I felt more tears slide down my cheeks as I rested my cheek on his shoulder and let out a shaky sigh. "Thank you, Cole." I whispered.

Cole slapped my back. "I'm so sorry, Zane." He said quietly. "We'll never understand how you and Pixal work, but we're here for you both all the way." He let go of Zane and carefully took a step back, as to avoid stepping on the female droid. He reached down and picked her up gently, making me open my mouth slightly in protest, but I let him do it.

Kai and Jay got on either side of my shoulder and flashed me smiles, letting me know that they echoed Cole's words entirely, and started walking behind their leader.

"Let's go give our new friend an upgrade." Jay said in a chipper voice. He paused and turned around, to make sure I was following.

I smiled at him and took a step forward, slinging my arm over his shoulder and pulling him with me. "Let's."

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**Alright, please be honest with me. Constructive criticism requested and required. **

**Not my best work, but its okay, I guess...kudos for reading this far!**


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